Flash non-fiction
A rant
Things we shouldn’t have but we do: multiple wooden spoons, extra storage, plastic bags, and expectations.
As a child, when I was denied to be immediately granted with whatever treat I wanted, I was told I had to wait. I had to wait to go to the park, I had to wait to eat dessert, I had to wait to watch TV, I had to wait for Christmas. At that moment I conceived a new dimension of my young life: the future. And naturally, attached to the future came the act of waiting, expecting, yearning. However, this new understanding was a double-edged sword. I knew important steps should be taken before I achieved what I longed for and while I did that, I developped amazing imagination and plotting skills, and learned the real - non literal - meaning of having butterflies in your stomach.
Since the day I learned about the future, the chain of reactions went more or less like this: wanting, immagining, expecting, longing for, getting disappointed. Yep, that is it. A bit later in life, as a teenager, having deeper (and evasive) conversations with strangers, thinking I had lived enough to see how the world could be a harsh place for dreamers like me if when future arrives you can’t hug the pot of gold under the rainbow, someone told me the key to happiness is low expectation. Think how low can you go? Go lower than that. And then, my world collapsed. Creating the expectation felt as good as getting there. Plotting a future gave wings to my imagination. How that would not lead to happiness?
In a waiting room, we expect; standing on a scale, we expect; turning a door knob, we expect; filling up a form, we expect; waiting for a voice message, we expect; sometimes we expect while meditating; we expect before going to bed and after getting up; mute, deaf, blind, articulated, we expect; crossing the street, signing a contract, trying new clothes, we expect; while pulling our cuticles, seeing the blood ooze, regreting of doing it, and doing it again, we expect; we expect with happines, with anxiety, with fear, with tears; we expect the unkown, the well-known, and the imaginary; sometimes we don’t expect and it feels empty, feels wrong, feels peaceful, so we expect.
That is life in a paragraph, searching for happiness where we cannot find it. All this becaue I cannot get over with my latest disappointment from expecting, not a perfect but a good enough service and meal in an expensive and trendy hotel nearby my apartment. I was hungry, I was early, I just wanted a healty salad and it was shit. Everything was shit.
So, if you are not pregnant, do not expect, go on and make your own salad.
Meanwhile in the kitchen
Recently I have decided that I want to consume second hand books instead of new ones. First because they feel like a treasure, second because you might not find new versions of older releases, finally because there are so many books in the world.
The latest book I bought was one from my wish list, it is used but still in perfect conditions - Let it simmer from Sean Moran (AKA as bosco, my boss). It was printed in two different covers, and I got my favorite one, a striped blue fabric-like with his hand writting on the title. Flicking the pages I found pictures of the 17 years younger restaurant and owners, Sean and Manoo (biggest boss). Not much, but also a lot has changed, meaning that the essence is still there. It was like going through a family photo album, and seeing your loved ones when you didn’t even know they existed. Although I wasn’t there at that time, I felt joy from recognizing those walls, full of frames and unique pictures, the beautiful view of Bondi beach from the window in the main dining area, the frier in the corner, the utensils hanging from hooks and Sean’s hands working with food with the same sensibility as now.
Even though I have opened this book many many times before to check on recipes that we still (and always will) reproduce in the restaurant, having it as mine and taking time plus a cup of coffee to enjoy its reading felt like an important gesture given that I am part of that environment now. A everything he does is unique and very personal, the contents of this book as divided in a way I have never came across before then: Grains, Garden, Sea, Livestock, Heaven, and Larder. I want to jump to heaven section straight way as I supposed desserts will be found there.
In the begining of every recipe, there is a a very sensorial, romantic, and detailed description of what is coming next, as well as a story of the produce, making it one of the cookbooks I would read as my bedside book. Pictures of the food are wonderfully bright and clear, allowing to see every ingredient on the plate, its colors, succulence and textures.
Although I am eternally gratefull and happy to work in his restaurant, be in touch with a wholesome way of cooking, and learning from passionate chefs, I can’t help wishing for a feast cooked by bosco himself, served at the long wooden table in his farm house, listening to the birds and cows outside, followed by a freshly brewed coffee swinging in the hammock in the varanda while listening to stories from seventeen years ago. That would be the full sensory experience.
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Our Great National Parks - beautifully narrated by Barak Obama, this is a documental series about the wonders, particularities and importance of different protected areas around the world. The quality of the images and videos mesmerize me, I cannot process how incredible is our world and the people that brings such intimate moments of nature to the screen. Must watch!
The Language of Food - this was the best books of the year so far. A novel created from a true story of the poetess who revolutionized how cookbooks were written in the 19th century. It is so well written, so sensorial, a big feast for our immagination and most sensible thoughts.
Do you agree?
Is Sydney the new London?
Mairaaaaaa!! Bom demais!!! Bom bom bom bom! É claro que de você só dava pra expectar coisa boa também né. Hehehe parabéns minha amiga!
Thank you for the amazing texts!! Made my lazy Sunday morning very special and I am sure such joy will reflect on my week that is about to start. Keep going. 🥰